Sunday, January 31, 2010


We went to the house today, to insulate a wall. Progress since the last time I was there? Invisible. We started tearing boards off the exterior bedroom wall to expose the studs. Then we were going to stuff insulation and put the boards back on.

Why wasn't the house insulated when it was built?

Because it's 80 years old, and insulation was a foreign word - they slapped layers of newspaper and, later, wallpaper over the cracks to keep out the wind.

We worked from the ground up, right to left. Man would pry off one end of the board, and I'd move to the left prying it off each stud until the whole thing was free. The first couple were especially bad. They were about knee-level, and I'm especially uncomfortable bending and kneeling right now. We were about seven and a half minutes into the job before I started feeling glum. Hopeless! The job is hopeless! We have bare studs for walls and sawdust-covered floors and roughed-in rafters, and BABY IS TEN WEEKS AWAY! I didn't say anything, because the more I panic the more Man worries, so I kept hammering away (by now I was in charge ot getting the nails out of the wood while Man insulated), feeling the despair well up, afraid of opening my mouth and afraid of tears starting to roll.

I felt angry and helpless and frustrated.... and then all of a sudden I didn't. I stopped thinking about it. It wasn't a concious decision, but I stopped dwelling on the enormous task ahead, and the looming Baby-imposed deadline, and soon we had the wall back together and the sawdust swept and we were out the door, arriving at the apartment to steaming chili in the crock pot and a loaf of sourdough bread as accompaniment.

If I can keep The Crazy at bay just a few more weeks, we'll start seeing major progress by way of walls and gyprock and paint and light fixtures... I can't wait.

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