Exercise: An exercise in avoiding the mirror (Alternative title: I get enough exercise just trying to get my damn swim suit on, thank you very much!)

I went swimming last night. I haven't been in a pool for ages - over a year, at least! I've swam in ponds and rivers (no oceans - far, far too cold). Needless to say, my swimsuit didn't exactly fit. I'm talking leg holes stretched up so far belly fat was escaping, and arm holes stretched so taut I had more sideboob on display than Bai Ling. It was not pretty. I ended up wearing the halter tank-top from my cutest two-piece ever, the one that USED TO hide my jelly-covered abs and show off my (formerly) lean back. It was Magic Suit - all my flaws gone in one swift woosh of black fabric! Last night, the top didn't quite cover my belly, so all my flaming read stretchmarks were on display if I wasn't careful. On the bright side, did I ever fill out the cups!

For bottoms, I chose a pair of black bikini briefs - nothing fancy, but the only swimsuit bottoms that didn't demand to constrict my thighs any further. They sat underneath my baby belly. I can only home my boobs were enough of a distraction.

I've read good things about maternity swimsuits - though I have yet to even see one in person. I am doubtful I'll find one in my neck of the woods, maternity shopping being limited to one rack of jeans and size extra-small tops (for real) at Wal-Mart. I will try on some big suits tonight, but I want that comfy pouch thing to keep my belly all snug. (Last night, the water would make my top ride up, so anyone with goggle on (read: EVERYONE) could see my belly doing its wobbly thing.)

At the pool, I was acting way more pregnant that usual - putting my hands on my belly, gingerly getting in and out of the water and trying to stick my belly out in a more pregnant manner. I'm not going to pretend it was easy to walk on deck twice my usual size wearing a suit that could only be described as "too small." I only hope the crowd got the "I'm PREGNANT, not FAT!" memo.